Dating and the Single Woman

Where oh where has the single man gone?
Although single women still primarily use some of the traditional methods to look for a mate, they are using many more options that were not available when these singles were in their 20s. Many women have friends with good intentions who fix them up with single men they know. Where one lives can have good dating potential if their neighbors are single men. The workplace may also provide an opportunity for a dating relationship, if it’s a big company and they don’t have a policy that doesn’t allow employees to see each other away from the workplace.

Chatting with a nice looking man in the produce isle at your local supermarket happens every once in a while too, while some women like to join social functions at their local church. The bar scene is not as popular as it once was, but singles do go from time to time, usually a younger crowed though. Many women join hobby or gardening clubs were they meet men with the same interests. The hottest place on the market today is the internet. Single websites are popping up all over the web today.

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According to, about 4% of today’s women use a website dating service, while 2% of them use personal ads in newspapers and magazines, leaving about 1% of the single women population using chat rooms on the internet. Let’s face it there really is no reason to be alone unless they want to. Even age is not such an obstacle as it used to be. In fact, it may be the “in” thing for a single woman in her 40s to date a man in is 30s, or even late 20s.

An issue that always seems to come up when someone mentions singles is sex. For some reason, people thing that once women gets to a certain age they don’t want sex anymore, and many also think that single women don’t miss sex and could probably go the rest of their lives without it. Let’s set the record straight, shall we? Women in their 40s, 50s, and yes, even 60s, still want sex, and when they don’t have it after a while they tend to miss it too.

The timing of the first sexual encounter is perhaps the one area where men and women diverge most in dating. According to the same survey done by, only one in ten singles say that sex is appropriate during the first date. What’s really surprising is that men are ten times more apt to say this. (Can you hear the sarcasm in that last sentence)? The gap persists with the second and third date, with more men than women saying sex is appropriate on these dates.

Not very many connect sex with marriage, about 11%, although more women believe this than men. (No surprise there either). About 45% of the single women in this age group say that sex is appropriate only after knowing the person for an extended period of time. If marriage does come into the picture, only about 29% say they would actually get married again, and 26% say that just living together suites them just fine. Men are actually more apt to choose living together or marriage than women, while the majority of singles dating admit they are not sure.

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Some single mature women can’t seem to decide on how committed they really want to be to one person. Now that their dating again they are finding they are having a much better time now than they did back in their 20s. Most women in their 40s and up were married for more than ten years, and they don’t want to be tied to just one person. 31% of them feel it is cheating if you date two people at the same time, even if the couple did not talk about dating each other exclusively. 50% don’t think it’s cheating at all, while about a fifth of them couldn’t say one way or the other.

Once women get through the pains of divorce, and start building a new life, they tend to change themselves to have a more satisfying dating life. They want to loose weight, be more financially stable, and overcome shyness. Weight loss is more of an issue for women than men, and they look for a more financially stable partner. About 80% of the single women say they have already raised their children so they don’t want a partner who needs to be taken care of by them.

That leaves about 20% doesn’t care either way. There are really no rules to be followed when single women start dating again. No one way is better than the other, and people should do what makes them happy. Single women 40 and older have been around long enough to know that what works with one person may not work on the next, so use your better judgment and intuition. If you feel comfortable having sex on the first date, then by all means, do it if it will make you happy. Get used to the idea that now you’re single, you don’t have to explain yourself to anybody, and you can do what you want, when you want.

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